Happy Sunday! I have my iced Americano in hand and the boys are watching football. So let's chat!
This past week we had a few friends over for a little Halloween get together. The kids wore their costumes and we had some spooky snacks (which you would have seen in my last post). The only downside to hosting is that after people leave I usually suffer from a little bit of hostess anxiety. I worry that people didn't have fun and I start doubting everything. I used to hate inviting people to anything because I felt like it was my responsibility to make sure they had fun. I didn't even like picking the restaurants we went to because I would worry people wouldn't like it. Luckily, that anxiety has gotten a lot better as I've gotten older but it still lingers. I do think it was a really nice evening and hopefully a tradition for Thomas and his little friends!
Something that's been on my mind is that I've noticed my body image comparison demon creeping up a bit lately which I am frustrated about. I've touched on my body image issues in the past but I'm always unsure how much I want to share on here. I've come so far to build my confidence and to get past my demons but I compare myself to other people like crazy. I stare at other women's hips and think about how amazing they look and how mine are huge and it's exhausting. Lately I've been comparing my weight loss to other mom's weight loss which is a dangerous game to play haha. I know that every body is different and I shouldn't compare, I know that, but it doesn't stop the thoughts from creeping in. I think what it comes down to right now is that I'm impatient. I know that I can't lose the baby weight in a healthy way any faster than I am right now (for my body) and that's what is frustrating me. I want results a lot faster than is possible. I have definitely noticed a difference in how I handle these negative thoughts and I am very aware of them so they don't pull me down into a depressed funk anymore. I also know that I would hold onto every extra pound if I had to in order to have Thomas be healthy and happy. I'm fighting my demons whenever the surface because what Thomas needs is a happy and confident mom. I haven't let the negative thoughts affect Thomas at all but it's one of the reasons I want to talk about them. The more I hide them the more I obsess over them. I am really open to turning this into a conversation so if any of you are going through the same thing I would love to hear from you.
One of the ways I have been trying to get healthier and keep those positive thoughts flowing is by enjoying our new kitchen! It's been inspiring me to find delicious, wholesome recipes to make for our family. I have been baking a lot of healthy recipes so I will be sharing those with you soon. Today I think I am going to try a coconut flour banana bread recipe I found and I am very excited about that.
I have been really wanting to get better at meal planning. I am horrible at coming up with meal ideas because I always want to try recipes that involve spending a bunch of money on ingredients I will never use again. I am getting a bit better at looking at the food we have on hand and coming up with dinner ideas but honestly, I'm a work in progress.
I think it's time for me to tackle my to do list for the day and spend some time with my boys! Thomas is napping now and the sun is out so I'm thinking we need to get outside before the rain comes back.