Jacob Dress (c/o)
I've had a few conversations with some friends of mine, who also happen to have blogs, about our wardrobes. I used to blame my blog on my overly stuffed closet but let's be honest, I've loved shopping and have spent far too much money on clothes since I started working. I've changed my shopping habits in the last few years because my priorities changed and my closet is still bursting. I now know the problem isn't the amount I shop, it's what I shop for.
All I can blame on having a blog is that I have purchased too many pieces of clothing with my blog in mind. Things that I barely wear but that I felt would make an outfit that much more exciting when I did wear them. Or trends I wouldn't normally want to wear but I thought would be good for the blog. I feel like I already re-wear a lot of my clothes but If I wasn't photographing my outfits I would probably "remix" even more. I would have a closet full of pieces that I loved and those disposable pieces that I am sick of quickly would be really rare.
I feel this pressure to blog a certain amount or to show a certain amount of variety in the pieces I wear and it's been weighing on me for a while. The majority of you have never made me feel this way, there have only ever been a few comments making reference to wearing a certain item too often, it's a pressure I've put on myself.
I can't keep worrying about having something new and exciting to wear and photograph. It's ridiculous that I've put these expectations on myself and really unrealistic. I can love style and I can love getting dressed without needing such excess in my closet.
I am going to wear what I love and what inspires me. Sometimes it will be outfits I wear when I'm going out (which is the majority of what I post now) and sometimes it's going to be the jeans and t-shirts I wear to run errands.
I already feel like the outfits I post have a lot of repeated pieces and I have this fear of boring all of you. I just really need my blog to suit my life right now. I feel like I've lost why I started blogging (which might bring me to write an entirely different post soon on that topic) and I think taking the pressure off and just going back to basics is really what I need. I want my blog to be a realistic representation of my life and the outfits I wear so it can (hopefully) inspire other women who have budgets and need to use what's already in their closets.
It was this red trench that brought me to finally bring up these thoughts with all of you. I bought it with some birthday money and I adore it. I think the colour and cut are perfect and I plan on wearing it a lot. I actually considered not buying it because I knew that a red trench would be really obvious if I posted it too much. I contemplated buying a coat I didn't love instead of a coat I thought was beautiful because it would be easier to re-wear without you guys noticing. It was this blogger's version of hitting rock bottom.
/end rant. Phew! Thank you so much for letting me get that off my chest! It has been on my mind for so long and the idea of talking about it really stressed me out, but it was nothing a jumbo bag of m&m's couldn't fix. Do any of you feel this way? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Love the coat and love the clutch! So classy!ReplyDelete
I'd be lying if I said I hadn't felt that type of anxiety about shopping/blogging/dressing myself before (yeah, I think I own about 3 pairs of shoes that I would never actually wear in real life but that I thought were inherently bloggable and so I "invested" in...now I just want my money back). I gave it up about a year ago and started focusing more on a reality-based "what I wore" platform. To be honest, I have a bit of a drop in posts and visitors (but it's slight) and I am WAY more relaxed and happier now so I don't regret making the change for a second.ReplyDelete
Courtney ~ Sartorial Sidelines
Thanks for your thoughts, Courtney.Delete
I definitely have shoes and pieces of clothing in my closet that I bought because they were "bloggable". I'm glad to hear that since you switched to a "what I wore" platform you're blog is still doing well.
I'm not sure what my blog will look like moving forward but your comment definitely helped.
I think there is a lot of pressure on style bloggers to constantly have new things, and I have felt that myself, but I have to say that I am much more interested in seeing how people re-style what they already have in a new way much more than constantly seeing new things. The reality is, for me at least, that I can't afford to be constantly buying new new new, sometimes I just have to work with what I have, so I am always interested to see people do the same thing and see how they can be creative with their existing wardrobes.ReplyDelete
Thanks, Rebecca! That's so good to hear. I will definitely be trying to work with my existing wardrobe so it's nice to know that there are readers who would be happy to see that!Delete
I totally agree with Rebecca. You have a great blog Melissa, I enjoy reading it and never get bored with your posts! Keep it up!ReplyDelete
Thanks so much, Sarah :)Delete
Well, personally, I really like seeing pieces re-worn! I'd be wearing that red coat ALL THE TIME, so I will be happy to see it frequently on here!ReplyDelete
It's really nice to hear that so many of you would be happy to see pieces reworn more often!
Great post - I completely agree with you. Unfortunately I have often found myself saying "that shirt/pants/shirt/necklace/bag/etc would be great on the blog" as opposed to saying "wow, I really like this - it is something I know I will keep for years". I am trying to catch myself when I fall into this mindset...but it's hard.ReplyDelete
I can't tell you how many times I've focused on how a piece would look on the blog instead of if I'd really love it. It's awful!Delete
Thanks for your kind words, Laura!
Oh gosh, thanks for your honesty this is exactly what I needed right now, been going through a similar phase, I totally agree and yeah you should not put the bar that high, instead ove and buy what you love and post what makes you happy not what you think other people your like! So glad you got the red trench, I don;t mind seeing that beauty a lot!ReplyDelete
I'm happy to hear that others are going through the same thing. Let me know if you make any changes!Delete
Well done, you've completely said what I've been struggling with for a while. I look forward to seeing the pieces you love more often! And the red trench is gorgeous.ReplyDelete
I'm leaving a second comment now that I actually took the time to read this post. (Rude, I know)I completely and totally relate/agree. I too have put so many unrealistic expectations on myself that sometimes shopping trips aren't fun at all simply because I keep asking myself 'Hmmmm....how will I be able to wear this several times on the blog without boring everyone?' instead of just buying the item simply because I love it. This is also a reason why I started the 'Wear it Three Ways' segment on my blog. This post was a breath of fresh air and thank you for being so honest!! :)ReplyDelete
Not rude at all! I know it was a lot to read and we often check blogs quickly.Delete
Isn't it so crazy now we put such unrealistic expectations on ourselves? I definitely need to make a change!
Melissa! I'm so glad you wrote this post! I totally feel the same way sometimes. I've always been a shopaholic but I feel like I justify so much because I have a blog. I spend a lot when I already do have a lot. It's a vicious cycle and I really hope I can stick to a plan this fall! Btw, I'm so glad you got that coat! It looks AMAZING on you.. and I would not get bored of seeing it thats for sure! xxReplyDelete
I need to put a plan together this fall and stick with it as well. Let me know how you do!
Hi Melissa, I read this yesterday and am finally getting a chance to comment. I can totally relate to what you are saying. Esp when I first started my blog I would compare myself to other bloggers and always buy things with the blogging mentality. Now I've changed my focus and want to purchase things that are truly my style and will be classics in my wardrobe. I love how you dress so I will never get bored! I love that you bought this red trench. It looks amazing on you. xoReplyDelete
Thanks so much, Lauren. I'm happy to hear you can relate! Hopefully I can change my focus as well.Delete
Love this post.ReplyDelete
I like seeing bloggers repeat items in their outfit posts. It feels more like personal style and it's nice to see that an item is of good quality and well-loved. As I get older, I find it harder to relate to bloggers who buy fast fashion in bulk every season and feature a new item in every post.
Thanks, Lisa. It's funny because I can't relate to bloggers with unlimited budgets but I feel pressure to look that way. I agree that it feels more like personal style when you can tell a blogger loves their style.Delete
I love that you opened up about it! I think it's nice to have a more authentic version of a "fashion blogger"- we don't all get tossed couture for free and it can be exhausting reading blogs you can't relate to.ReplyDelete
When Matt + I first started our blog (like a month ago lol) I thought my part would be more fashion or outfits but although fashion is a huge part of who I am, I tend to wear the same things all the time since I am just a normal person and don't have wads of cash to buy new clothes every week :) I can definitely understand the feeling like you have to impress with a bunch of new clothes.
I'm glad to hear you're taking the pressure off of yourself- it sucks to spend money on stuff you don't totally love!
I'm definitely going to try to take the pressure off. We will see how I do!
This was a great post to read. I find that the more I get into blogging, the more I have thoughts like this as well.ReplyDelete
Like you, I've always been a shopoholic, but now that I'm blogging, I look at things differently when I'm shopping. Honestly, even putting outfits together has been tricky lately, because I don't want to "waste" a good outfit if I'm not planning to blog it. I know that's just crazy, but can't help that!
Nonetheless, I look forward to seeing how you blog with this new approach....especially if that coat pops up a bunch!
I've definitely been worried about "wasting" outfits so I can relate! Thanks for your kind words, Jackie :)Delete
I felt that same pressure with my blog. I was scared certain things were "too simple" or not "Trendy" enough to be interesting. I am 30 now and I refuse to buy things JUST for a blog. I am blogging now things I wear in my day to day life and hoping to still inspire people with my simple style and not just my glamorous date night looks. btw I'm new to your blog and I LOVE it!ReplyDelete
A fellow 30+ blogger! So great to meet you! I love that you're inspiring your readers with your everyday looks. I do believe that's what people want to see!Delete
That coat is perfect - you look absolutely stunning!ReplyDelete
And, congratulations for being so brave to put all of this out there. I think these are feelings that every fashion/style blogger has felt at one point in time (I know I have!) but not everyone has the courage to put it out there.
Wishing you all the best
Kate xo petite-adventures.blogspot.ca
I know in the grand scheme of things it's such a trivial topic but for some reason putting thoughts like that out on the blog feels very vulnerable!
First of all, your jacket is gorgeous. You did the right thing picking something you love over something that might be a little more "blendable". But it was the right decision to make.ReplyDelete
And secondly, I know exactly what you mean. I've been struggling with this too. I think it's something most of us run into at one point in our style-blogging careers. But at least you've recognized it :)
I'm happy I bought the coat too. I'm also happy I posted my thoughts because it turns out a lot of bloggers have been feeling this way!
Melissa, oh my goodness, I can RELATE!! I've so been there... and I agree, it's important to buy what you love and re-wear stuff as much as you please. A blog should absolutely reflect our real lives, and honestly, I find that so much more inspiring!! Can't wait to see this new direction from you!ReplyDelete
By The Shore